What a difference a month makes...

On May 4th, I wrote about the state of Jen. I vaguely remember the things that were weighing me down at the time, except the weather which I mentioned specifically.

I've moved on and things have gotten better mostly. The weather has warmed and turned sunny (and humid) and is better for my general outlook on life.

The one major thing that happened is still there. At the time, I was upset and angry and scared. I've had time to process the issue. I talked with a friend, did a little more research, and I was able to get a better grasp of what the issue really is. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do at the moment but work around the issue. So work around it I will.

Another issue is... I haven't written much for months. As I've said more than a few times, I should be writing...

BUT

I've also said that this is my journey. A Facebook friend (a person I have met in person) and fellow author recently wrote a post reminding all of her writer friends that our journey is indeed unique. It doesn't matter if you write fast or slow. If you publish 1 book or 5 or more in a year. We each have real lives to work around. Jobs, partners, children, pets, extended family, and on and on. And we each have to accept that about one another. Unless we walk a mile or spend a day in someone else's shoes, we cannot know what's best for that person. We cannot judge.

I have author friends who seem to be chained to their computers a lot and they seem miserable. I've never wanted to be that author. Also, unlike many, I'm not trying to make a best-seller list and I'm not trying to make a living. The only pressure I want is the pressure I put on myself for the right reasons--I'm ready and willing to get the next book written, edited, and published. The wrong reason is that much of the publishing world says I need to churn churn churn.

I'm going to turn fifty years old tomorrow. I want this time in my life to be as fun as I can make it. That means I write when I'm damn good and ready to do so. I make no excuses when people ask. I made the choice and there are consequences. Here comes the pressure though: I need and want to get back to it soon. I do enjoy it and I have a conference to get ready for.

Of course, now I have a proofreading job and a series-guide-updating job and several clients for whom I do website updates and places to go and 4th of July coming up. *sigh*

It is what it is, I guess. Better get to it.

Have a great week.